What makes me, me? Here's an inside scoop of what inspires me, my struggles, and how I started getting into art. Featuring unedited raw images I 📷shot📷 on my phone.
what inspires me?
I've had art throughout my life, but I was pretty on and off with it. I recently had started taking it more seriously though.
I'm genuinely inspired by everything. I know that sounds cliché and vague, but its true and that's the best way I can put it. I'm fueled mostly by my emotion, as I try to embrace memories and experiences. The world inspires me. The people around me inspire me - my peers, family, friends, and even social media. As a visual learner, everything I see inspires me.
Naturally, I am an observer and a listener. Art is my own looking glass. It helps me process what I'm feeling, while it serves as an outlet when I need to let go. And what I know, is based from everything that I digest - from trial and error, real life experiences, and from media like youtube videos, tik toks, etc.
When I create, it's a byproduct of what I am feeling in the moment. I can feel an emotion intensely one day, but then another day, the emotion passes. Yeah, I'll try to capture what I felt when I initially start painting. But then, the piece just becomes an amalgamation between the emotions I felt throughout the creation process or it completely transforms to something else. For example, when I feel calm, my pieces take a more laid-back, neutral approach - like the piece Eruption. My pieces are still busy and somewhat chaotic, but the color scheme is what's most telling.
I think what drives me the most though is: growing my skill, putting out a diverse body of work, and the general act of creating. I like trying new things, and by doing so, it really helps shape who I am as an artist. I don't always like things to be the same either (unless I'm following a routine). At times, when I create, I don't always like the outcome. So, I just paint over it and start over. But that's the beauty of the creation process. You'll find out what you like and don't like. And when you find what you like, you stick to it. Or sometimes you get bored, and then try something new.
battling doubt
I'm going to admit, I still struggle trying to find what type of "art" I want to put out there. I had so many different interests, that I'm always willing to try something new - whether its something digital wise, or a painting idea I thought of doing, I'd say a third of the time I feel so confused. Then the thought process starts to consist of a lot of self doubt. I have canvases that I've walked away from and just sit around for weeks because I overthink things. I try my hardest to be as authentic as I can with my "colorful and busy" aesthetic. There's days where I'm like, "well what am I doing?", "how is this different from other art?", "what can you do to make this piece better?", "Is it done?", or "will people like this?". Unfortunately, this leads to a lot of scraped work. And I constantly look at my body of work and feel like I see inconsistency. I just wish I had myself together like other artists.
when art was introduced
As a child, I would always bring my mom little pictures that I did in school. Just like any other kid. Even though I had art class once a week for one hour, I remember always looking forward towards the end of the week for that short period of time. Everyone else was more interested in gym class, or science. But when I picked up a colored pencil or a paintbrush, I always felt a sense of calmness. I never really understood why that I felt that way. The kids in class never really cared about art. No one in my family came from an art background or even had interest in it either.
At 8, or maybe earlier, I used to attend a daycare in Providence called "Nickerson Community Center". The daycare would pick me up from elementary school and I would spend the rest of my day there. I absolutely loved it. I will never forget my counselors George, Steve, and Abby. George was my favorite though. He would always play card/board games, do crafts with us. He was the arts and crafts counselor during the summer camp. Every summer, I remember screen printing shirts, creating boxes with gimp, and painting on paper. I would always walk by the arts and crafts house in longing - if I could've, I would've stayed in there all day creating.
George was the sweetest old man, and competitive too. He used to kick my and my sister's asses at UNO. He had absolutely no remorse for slapping the table with those draw fours. He would say in a sing-song voice "pick em up, pick em up". And to this day, my sister and I still say this. Anyways, George was the one who brought out my love for art and introduced me to the world of art & crafts. Ever since, I would always be creating. I wish I could thank him and let him know how much he's made in impact on my life 💙
what do I want out of this?
Basically, my main goal with art is to be able to connect with people. Emotions are what connects us together. I hope that my art is relatable, tells stories, causes smiles, evokes thoughts, and overall just make people feel something.
Let me know what you think about this posting! If you have any questions, comments, or concerns - feel free to drop them down below :)
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